So this post will be in English hmmmm
FYI, I am going to blog about the Kijang Academy I've went for few days ago.
Before that.. let me include a short happening which has happened to me that day before I received the information phone call from BNM...
I was at Burger King for the first time since I worked at Blackball because one of my colleagues said that there was a promotion..buy one soft drink and free one burger..it was actually nothing much different..one soft drink costs about RM3.90 (sooo expensive?) and then free one burger...okay okay fine.. I added on RM2 for some wedges..
Guess what happened...
The chili and tomato sauce booth was so far away from the counter. I simply found myself a seat near to the counter. So I decided to finish my burger first before getting myself some chili sauce. The little voice inside my mind kept telling me: "chili sauce..get some chili sauce..." and then after eating one or two pieces of wedges I decided to leave my seat and go to the booth to get some of it.... That moment I was kinda aware of my food which would be accidentally thrown by the waiter so I kept putting my eyes on it...
And then the waiter really approached my seat...
Stood there for a while and took away my food and ..... sent them away to HELL.
I was like.. wtf ... okay fine.....and then threw away the chili sauce and left.
So called #lonerstory yeah ... so speechless. I have got used to be a loner since I started my job here, every meal I ate alone, no matter where I go for my lunch/dinner I am always alone. I don't even have the chance to go to pee while my food is still on the table, I should, and I have to be always aware. Yeah, lesson learnt..
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And then, I received the phone call when I was in the toilet LOL..
I don't really want to attend this initially, as this activity totally crashed with my car test, junior's CO concert, my appointment with StudyExcel, my job... everything need to be settled and arranged again.. and only few days left to prepare before the actual date that I need to go to KL. For the certification of certs, I need to go to school again which I am very reluctant to..
But still I decided to go for it just because somebody told me that is a rare chance. Not everyone who applied for the scholarship get shortlisted to go for the Kijang Academy. So I was like...hmmm really? *blur* Wow am I really have that quality to get shortlisted I so geng meh HAHAHAHAH
And that somebody told me maybe I've impressed the panels with my essay I was like okay okay fine HAHAHA don't be flattered LOL
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That was a long journey from Butterworth to KL. I never came to KL since five years ago yeah it is like ages ago.
I went to KLCC, and then from KL Sentral to Subang Jaya by komuter, however we realized that there was really a long journey to reach Bandar Sunway from the station and the time was running out, so we decided to return to KL Sentral and then from there, we went to BNM.
From BNM to Lanai Kijang, it was another a long journey for one or two kilometers and we walked all the way to reach there with the help of a last year's scholar we accidentally met. What a pleasure.
Registered my name as I reached there, so surprised to find out that there was actually a few (26 candidates) got selected for KE. I was like ...... Wow I am so lucky.
Checked in my room, I was staying alone! The room was in my expectation though.
And of course I was absolutely tired. I have the best dad in the world, he went back to Butterworth... I mean he walked back to BNM and then this station that station and then Puduraya to go back to Butterworth. He is willing to have gone through so tough and tiring journey just because of his daughter. /.\ Thanks dad.
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Tidy up myself to go for dinner.
Reached the residence cafe at third floor, everyone was gathering in front of it and was chit-chatting with each other.
I simply merged myself to a group of Chinese girls. So awkward as I didn't know whether I have to speak Mandarin or English but then I heard everyone was speaking in English.
"Hi, what's ur name?"
*show them my name tag* And can hardly pronounce my name for them.
"Where are you from?"...
And then the conversation was going on. Met with few over-friendly person I supposed.
I was like, ... Alright, it's in my expectation.
And then dinner, met with a few more girls and talked to them. *Insert some korean dramas* I realised that some of the Chinese is actually half banana and total banana. LOL
Even Chinese who took chinese subject for SPM spoke more fluent English than me lol. I feel so awkward to actually speak in English, [the biggest weakness of SMJK students] that was really no point to excel in Chinese but neglected English speaking... uhhh no, so I have to struggle hard.....
And then went to the multipurpose hall for the essay session ..... I had poured out almost everything in my mind, with some not-really-proper english.. I don't have vocabulary for those bombastic words, I don't really know what's my potential, and I don't really know "why health science?" I just want to see people happy, world peace, whatever la duh..
After that, some briefing session for the next day's itinerary.. and then some awesome ex-scholars who came to speak to us...
"If you fit in Bank Negara, we will choose you. If you don't get into the interview, that doesn't mean that you're not good enough, as we said you guys are the best of the best, you will excel in other fields eventually....."
"Speak out and let the assessors see you, if you don't, they can't really see what's inside you..."
Hmmm. These kind of words. I can feel the stressful environment already...
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The second day, group assessment. Went to the Sasana Kijang which is a very superb, marvelously-classy building, with my formal clothing..
Got to know my awesome group mates, and I am the only Chinese in my group, alright...
First, it was the ice-breaking session, which consists of several sub-sessions inside,
We introduced ourselves to each other, talked about a fact related to ourselves, and then "why this course" and then an elevator speech...
As I said, talking English is very weird for me, I keep er...er....er...... during my speech, it was not because I was nervous, I think it was basically because I don't have confidence to speak English fluently, I can't,
and the second reason is because I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHY HEALTH SCIENCE. while people keep asking me, mind telling what's health science about? why not medicine? what's their difference? what are you going to do in the future?
I did prepared that they would ask this, but I think it's because it was not initially in my mind, I just couldn't come out with reasons from my mind to make this smooth. I just can't.
Why health science. Because I love biology.
My speech ended up with er....er....er........ and I personally think that this would stop me from going to Day2. It definitely would.
My group mates, speak awesomely fluent English, and are having big aspirations. Their goals are clear, unlike mine.
"I want to be the female that could be a role model for all Malaysians..."
"I want to study dentistry and I want people to have awareness that oral health is very important, this include the gums, teeth, tongue..."
"I want to be a doctor because my mum is a survivor of breast cancer.."
"I want to be in Proton company, creating cars with hybrid engine and commercialize them..."
"I want to be a biotechnologist, and contribute to my country because biotechnology fields in Malaysia aren't very active.."
They are very very awesome, and two of them are actually national scholars. However they weren't behaving arrogantly and somehow they were very modest, which was really surprising to me.
But there is one guy in my group that I doesn't like him. He brags about everything, telling that his parents are actually at UK. okay what's the big deal there, so ? and he snatched every opportunity from his group mates to answer question. Alright. I just don't like him.
Except him, my group mates were all awesome people. All straight A+ians are in my group, and they're having mature mind. Unlike me.
That's another weakness of SMJK students. Kiasu, scare to speak, scare to lose.
I really want to speak, but every time I speak I got neglected. That super arrogant guy just ignored our ideas like that, sometimes.
After a break we proceeded into the second session. Case study.
Took the wrong role to perform and it actually revealed my weakness even more. I took the Product Management part which actually acts like a CEO of the particular company we are going to present. But then as a CEO, I don't even gather my group mates' brains to think together, instead they are having their own ideas, each talking with their respective mates from the same department. (this is some sort of mimicking...)
And that guy who actually talked the most took the finance part. Why not product management?
I was going to speak and lead, but then my English speaking level stops me. And the presence of assessors beside us were stressing me, and the limited time constrain. I was clueless what I was going to do.
And okay, just go for it.
Things will not go well without proper planning.
So it really didn't turn out very well. Our team cohesion wasn't there. And we all are aware, but idk whether that arrogant guy feel the same. He basically want to stand out as himself not representing the whole group, I suppose.
Okay, I didn't do well as a product manager. But thanks to my other group mates they actually took notice of me every time they got a new idea.
And then we went for lunch at a kind-like banquet hall... as I said Sasana Kijang is so damn freakish classy...
During lunch I sat beside an ex top student of Cambridge in engineering.. but he never practiced as an engineer before although he had the degree..he worked in finance instead..and he said, "your degree doesn't define who you are.. and your future is unpredictable.."
That was the moment I met some guys who are also from Penang.. and one from CLHS!
And then it was the third session-- Group discussion.
This time we were against KE4. It was about planning a shopping mall proposal to bid a property..
Again, the same thing happen, but I did felt quite good. At least the group work was getting better. ( I supposed?...)
Not to forget about our team name and cheer, it's ZEALOUS! quite powerful and cheerful. Hmmm. We are KE3.
and then the last part.. team-based activity.
The first part was very easy.. fold lucky stars lol. and then we got credits from the first activity, then proceed to second.. it was about building a tower of 30cm tall with the materials given, and then put a carrier on the top to carry an amount of batteries, and this was depended solely on the strength and stability of our building.
And our team's building failed to carry any of the batteries.
That was the consequences of working without proper planning. Hmmmm.
And the third activity, we were grateful to get voyage tickets from the generous millionaire and KE2, (because we don't have any as one battery we carry will give us one voyage ticket) and we have to choose few roles to board the boat, (among doctor, soldier, engineer, straight A+ student, farmer..etc) those who left behind will die in the flood and we need to state the rationale.
And then we were the last group to present. I don't even have chance to talk a word during the presentation because I just.. don't have chance. Urgh.
After that... Finally group activity of Day1 ended! Everyone was so exhausted and it was like finally.... The assessors did commented on our performance in overall.
Took a group photo of KE3, and we proceeded to Lanai Kijang.
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Let me skip and go to the briefing on the night.
As expected, I didn't get into Day2. But when listening to the results I secretly hope that miracle will happen.... but it didn't.
I got a bit disappointed, but I was actually feeling more relieved. I know I am still not good enough to be in Day2.
I was grateful that our assessor, Mr. Thomas gave us feedback on our group and also individual performance.
He gave me really good tips on how to improve myself.
"Many people want to be in ur position, want to sit on where you are sitting now, so you're good..."
"Do you guys know why A students worked for C students?"
and this one impressed me a lot "even Myanmars and Bangladeshs in Petaling Street know how to speak Chinese. They had no choice, the environment urged and forced them to do so."
"I can understand that you guys feel disappointed. But disappointment is only for one second. Life is about how fast a person is able to bounce back from failure and move on."
"It is not a failure, it is a learning process."
"The most successful person in the world did experienced failure, again and again but they managed to learn from mistakes."
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It was a long night, I reflected a lot, and even broke into tears silently talking on the phone.
I am forced to look at my weakness, and learn from mistakes. Nobody will help you to learn if you don't. I realised that all this while I am having very wrong mindset and perception. I tend to run away from things I don't like, include studying English, studying Physics which is my no-no subject.
"Hmmm. At least you go into the first round, and you can rest in your room, that is great, right?"
Somehow I felt warm.
and I am going to stop now. going to work larh duhhh
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In a nutshell, Kijang Academy is really awesome, it doesn't only a mere scholarship interview that keep stressing you out with those strict panels, it is more to a journey to learn, to explore, to meet with those awesome peers with great dream, who knows our path may cross in the future?
Lastly, life is a journey. It is really an eye opener for me and I've indeed, learned a lot, known a lot. and realized that the world is so big, really big.
Wfloo.
